Growing phase

Today, I found myself trying so hard to be strong.

The kind of strong woman that doesn’t cry. That doesn’t break. That keeps moving.

But sometimes, life doesn’t give you the option to be okay. It just… happens.

I was talking to my mum earlier, and she asked me, “How are you? Don’t fake your smile.”

then I let it all out. I told her how I really felt, raw, shaky, tired, and overwhelmed.

And what did she do?

She laughed softly and said, Enjoy this phase and she prayed for me.

Enjoy?

This phase?

The pain, the tears, the confusion?

But somehow, I understood what she meant.

Not everything you go through will feel good. But everything you go through grows you.

I sat outside, staring at the sky for hours, holding back tears that were too loud to be silent.

I thought maybe if I could rewind time and sit in some old memories, I’d feel better.

I thought if I came up with plans I could feel better 🥺🥺

But the past isn’t a safe haven—it’s just a reminder that I’ve survived so much already.

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I laid down and scrolled through my page, and all I saw… was me.

Not the curated, smiling version. But the girl who’s still here. Still trying.

And some moment, I whisper quietly:

God, please help me through this phase. Please don’t leave me now.

I want to be there for the people I love.

But first, I need to remember how to be here for myself.

To give myself grace. To be soft with myself in a world that expects me to be tough all the time.

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It’s okay to cry.

It’s okay to not have it all together.

It’s okay to be a girl in process, becoming.

I just want to be me again.

And I believe I will.

Because this phase isn’t a punishment it’s preparation.

And I will not come out of it empty-handed.

Yes, I’m doing enough. Yes, I will enjoy this phase. Because it will count.

Every tear.

Every laugh.

Every soft step forward.

It will all count.